


Keeping Up My Head as My Heart Falls Out of Sight

by StarchildOfParis



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: But also, F/M, Not Beta Read, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Pepper likes to take action, Reunions, Short, Worry, because her husband might be dead, but I think about the scene where Tony comes back to earth a lot, i've only seen endgame once, just sharing a bit of ramble-y writing, or heavily edited, so here you go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29016360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarchildOfParis/pseuds/StarchildOfParis
Summary: At first, there was just chaos. And then Steve and Natasha (after all this time, her first thought is still Natalie) and the Avengers compound. And then there was the moment she gave herself permission to stop worrying about everyone else.*A short look at Pepper, between the Snap and Tony's return.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Kudos: 8





	Keeping Up My Head as My Heart Falls Out of Sight

At first, there was just chaos. And then Steve and Natasha (after all this time, her first thought is still _Natalie_ ) and the Avengers compound. And then there was the moment she gave herself permission to stop worrying about everyone else. 

And then Pepper fell apart. 

There’s a special kind of panic saved for not knowing where your husband is after a crisis. And even though every crisis with Tony, and there were many, had felt like the biggest one they’d ever lived through while it was happening, Pepper couldn’t come up with a worse situation than the one they were in right now. There was a fifty percent chance Tony was dead. Even if he’d fallen on the positive side of that fifty percent, he was in an unknown location in space, an unknown distance away, with unknown resources and unknown companions. 

“Unknown” had never been Pepper’s forte. She’d gotten much more used to uncertainty since Stark Industries and Tony became part of her life, but she’d always been the organizer, the overachiever, keeping her cool and spinning surprises into planned events with such deft excuses that half the time she had herself convinced. But there was no way to spin this. No messes that she could clean up, not really. Pepper wasn’t a CEO, a partner, or a planner right now. Nobody’s role would ever be the same. And so that night, alone in in her room, Pepper let herself cry.

* * *

When she got up the next day, Pepper made a decision. Useless was not a good look on her, and she’d already wasted one night paralyzed by fear, so from now on she’d be helping. Turn that bottomless pit of anxiety into motivation. Nothing new. 

And so she helped the remaining crew sort through the stuff they had, the tech that was still functioning, any messages they could send or receive to assess the damage and see who else was left, who they could bring home. 

And so it went, working during the day, alone with her fear at night. A fear that grew with each day of no news, a fear that pushed out of her eyes with the tears and out of her stomach as she threw up a week later, clutching her abdomen and the test and thinking how Tony deserved this new life, this growing family, and how she wasn’t sure she wanted it if he wasn’t there to take part.

* * *

And then the spaceship appeared. Everyone warned her to stay inside. The unidentified force ushering in the unknown ship (just more answers they didn’t have) was more than enough cause for caution, but the fear and anticipation and the hope that she tried to fight were stirring so strongly that she had to fight both the urge to throw up again and to dash outside. 

And then the doors were open. And she was running. Her brain seemed to fragment as she got closer. Part of it observed the glowing woman, part of it noticed that the ship was a mess and the ones who’d exited it looked ready to drop. But most of it swelled and exploded and danced with relief as she got a good look at him. Got close enough to talk to him. Heard him start to ask... 

And then she was there, both of them gasping, and she saw the terror fall away from his face and hugged him, desperately. She realized after a moment that she should hold back, that he felt so weak he was spending the rest of his strength to latch onto her. But finally, for this moment, the panic fell away, and Pepper clung to hope and relief as tightly as she clung to Tony. Here was something she could fix.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this well over a year ago, and haven't written much new stuff in a while between college and pandemic stress and the like. So I thought, why not dust it off and stick it on here? As I said in the tags, I've only seen Endgame once, but the way Tony's voice breaks when he tries to ask if Pepper is there stuck with me in a major way, and I'm always up to seeing Pepper's perspective. So, I ended up writing this tiny thing and I hope it is tolerable to read. Love and hugs.
> 
> Title is a lyric from the musical Falsettos because I am an incurable nerd. 
> 
> I, of course, own nothing related to Marvel.


End file.
